Women Bend, Men Break

Well done Jamie Foxx for coming up with this phrase two weeks ago on his Foxxhole radio show (the same show that had the infamous Miley Cyrus diss). It is a complex analysis made simple by it's abiding definition -"Women bend, Men break". You see relationships as we know grow from strength to strength with the constant rotation of love, trust and commitment. A bond is created between a man and a woman based on these foundations and we often find a relationship blossoming. HOWEVER there comes a time...scratch that numerous times when this relationship is tested and 8 times out of 10 that so called strength portrayed becomes curiously fragile.

It wouldnt be accurate to say every test has the same reaction but more often than not you find in circumstancial scenarios women bend while men break. Now when we say women bend we are refering to their reaction to a negative scenario that can affect a relationship....the woman is clearly affected (hence the bending) but rather than show outright anger she conceals it and saves the issue for a rainy day. When it comes to the man on the other hand he has less tolerance and his reaction is instant and somewhat volatile (hence the breaking) towards the situation. If you pay your attention to the scenarios below......

Who is that?

You see your partner talking to someone of the opposite sex, and they are friendlier than usual

Woman Bends: She'll see her man talking to another girl and even though it upsets her, she wont react. Instead she'll collect her thoughts and save it for another day

Man Breaks: He sees her talking to a guy and it's an instant reaction, he's angry and lets her AND the guy she's talking to know it.

New Friends

Your partner has a new friend of the opposite sex that they speak to often

Woman Bends: She'll wait (and hope) for her man to tell her who the new friend is. If he doesnt say, she'll ask about her and ask to meet her

Man Breaks: He'll ask (complain) about her new friend and request less time be spent speaking to him. When meeting the friend he gives him the cold shoulder and the eyes to let him know. The new friend unsurprisingly rarely speaks to her ever again

Holiday in Napa?

Your partner's going on a party holiday....in Napa

Woman Bends: Has her suspicions but quietly trusts her partner wil behave himself (pssh..in Napa? haha)

Man Breaks: He knows she's likely to misbehave especially with some of the girls she's going with. He's not happy, he gets into an argument which either forces her to misbehave or forces HIM to join her in Napa

You aint getting any

Your partner aint in the mood for sex, simple

Woman Bends: She shows anger but doesnt complain for too long, she collects her thoughts

Man Breaks: Its the end of the world, he's fuming and doesnt know what to do with himself, he has no control

Miscellaneous Objects

You see something in the car that doesnt belong to you...and sure as hell dont belong to your partner....but whoever it belongs to is the same sex as you

Woman Bends: Save it for a Rainy Day

Man Breaks: Everyday is a rainy day

What time you call this?

Your partner comes home late....real late after a party. They look and smell different

Woman Bends: She doesnt say anything, she logs it into her memory

Man Breaks: If he hasnt called her already before she even hits the door, he'll turn into CSI Miami.com/ForensicDetectives and go mad!

The scenarios dont lie......the scenarios do not lie! So I guess after that the next thing is to look at the even wider perspective and disect why. Why do women bend and men break? The truth is I dunno, maybe it's control issues. Reading an essay once the writer interstingly suggested that there's sometimes a gap between a man's ability to reason and his ability to feel whereas women can connect reason with emotion whilst also knowing that reason can't solve all emotional issues.

We all like to be in control of our life...men more or less take pride in being in "control" of their relationship and when they sense that their "control" has been comprimised they react aggressively (masculinity revisited) because they aren't used to not being in "control", they havent gained the necessary knowledge of how to react. Women know that breaking hardly creates control so they wait, they bend...they are tactful...they wait til the man is at a vulnerable or weak position and then they unleash. Does that make women are stronger than men?....well thats another blog post in itself. What do you think?

"The weaker the argument, the stronger the words"

Friday Means Throwback

This has been a strange week. I swear I've seen more women over 6ft this week than in my entire lifetime. Speaking to a substantial amount of women looking up is an interesting experience. I've accepted the fact that at 6ft (and a half) and 22 years old Im not growing anymore but this female growth spurt has to stop!! Nah Im playing, tall women get the thumbs up..... but I aint ready for the photos with them. Enjoy the throwback!

Skeelo - I Wish I Was A Little Bit Taller

"If you aren't in over head you don't know how tall you are"

PREMIER VIDEO: The Foreign Exchange Feat Darien Brockington - Take Off The Blues

Not many know about the Foreign Exchange but they are one of the few musicians that are holding the flag for modern music. Made up of Nicolay and Phonte from rap group Little Brother, FE have a great blend of Neo-Soul, Jazz, Hip-Hop & Funk and you can hear a couple of their tracks off my playlist. Here's their new video with affiliate Darien Brockington; keep a look out for the second track at the end, should sound familiar.

The Foreign Exchange Myspace & Darien Brockington Myspace

"Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons. You will find it is to the soul what a water bath is to the body"

It's Who AND What You Know

Dont ever let anyone distill in your head that "It's Not What You Know, It's Who You Know" That's a whole bunch of crap. You really think someone you know will let you progress without some kinda knowledge? if the answer is yes then your progression in life will be somewhat stifled by your inability to learn and adapt it to experience.

Who and What you know combined is more powerful than one or the other. The more skills learnt the better and being able to combine your gift, talent, intelligence and creativity with communication and people skills will only provide a stronger foundation for future growth. If there's anything I learnt from my years at Uni it's that it was a platform for higher learning academically and socially, Network, Network, Network. The socio-technological era we live in only adds weight to this with modern technology geared towards communication and feedback from each other.

This being said however dont feel that if you dont know people that you're headed in the wrong direction. The truth is "who you know" is just an added bonus to "what you know" but dont let not knowing someone stop you from acheiving your dream...If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door. Acquire knowledge to solidify What You Know, and if you dont network just know that at the very least the one person who knows you (the man upstairs) will guide you through.

"Only the educated are free"

What's Next? (Thought Of The Day)

You ever reach a stage in your life and wonder if anything new's gonna happen? You "think" you've overturned obstacles and passed small milestones and stages and now you're waiting? It isn't exactly a crossroads because a crossroads still has options; but it isnt a dead end because you've still got something to look forward to (at least you think you should). Instead it's like reaching a traffic junction and there's no indication of whether you should turn left or right. What's Next?

What's Next is YOU. There's no major epiphany or stand out discovery, it's all about you. Good things comes to those who wait but better things comes to those who dont procrastinate. Everyone has a particular milestone they want to reach in life but have a different mindset as to how they are going to get there. Too often I've seen people around me give up too easily or take a less effective road making cliched mistakes in thinking the path to success, happiness and portioned contentment is a straight road with only minor bumps. The laziness sets in, they blend in with the rest and become a ground eagle.

In order to figure out what's next you have to master what's NOW? Whatever it is you want to achieve in life starts from YOU and the small steps you take towards that goal. Focus on your character, your weaknesses, your strengths and your potential in order to implement your actions, your talents and your skills. Tie up any loose ends you have now however small and possibly insignificant to give yourself a clean slate and no excuse to flourish in future. What's Next is you dealing with What's Now. What's Now is you planning for What's Next. Confused?

"The toughest part about getting to the top of the ladder is about getting through the crowd at the bottom"

Lil Wayne Feat Young Money - Every Girl

Been bumping this track for a while now, didnt think they would bring a video for it due to the language but they did. I will definitely be bumping this in the summer, old or not. Here's Lil Wayne bringing through his Young Money label including Dreezy, enjoy!

"Music is a performance and needs the audience"

Nice Guys Finish Second To Last

....well Im assuming nice guys come before Serial Killers, if not then I can only think the female demographic are simply put, mental!

I feel like asking the questions rather than answering them this week. The old cliche about nice guys finishing last will forever be a hackneyed phrase because 8 times out of 10 it's true. There's a future desire for the nice guy but a current need for the not so nice guy instilled in many the mind of a female. Some, not all claim the nice guy lacks the "X Factor"...what does the X stand for?

Who knows! but the not so great guys are definitely getting the long end of the stick. Im yet to know where this social "commandment" truly stems from seeing as the population of girls who choose the not so nice guys is vast let alone the female population full stop. So Ladies and Gents I ask you, do females prefer the Eric Benets, the Chris Browns or the Jeremy Kyle/Maury characters of this world or is there just a short supply of nice guys?

"It's nice to be important but more important to be nice"

Friday Means Throwback

You always get those unprompted moments which rarely get repeated ever again; earlier this week I was chilling with a group of friends and we were talking about how music developed then kinda declined in originality and pureness over the past few years. Then we found ourselves bubbling to old school motown classics, 80's/90's grooves and Hip-Hop. For once I actually stayed in the room to bare some of the tone deaf girls shriek the tunes of Cheryl Lynn, Anita Baker, Regina Belle etc and the guys rapping over each other in unison (its possible) to Nas, Big L, Pac and Biggie etc. We joked, sang and flowed all night and the setting/atmosphere reminded me of the track below. Mainstream R'n'B will never be the same...

Janet Jackson - That's The Way Love Goes

"Music is an artform that transcends language"

Quote Of The Month

Simply put....

"BE THE PERSON YOU WOULD MOST LIKE TO MEET"



That is all