Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Women Bend, Men Break

Well done Jamie Foxx for coming up with this phrase two weeks ago on his Foxxhole radio show (the same show that had the infamous Miley Cyrus diss). It is a complex analysis made simple by it's abiding definition -"Women bend, Men break". You see relationships as we know grow from strength to strength with the constant rotation of love, trust and commitment. A bond is created between a man and a woman based on these foundations and we often find a relationship blossoming. HOWEVER there comes a time...scratch that numerous times when this relationship is tested and 8 times out of 10 that so called strength portrayed becomes curiously fragile.

It wouldnt be accurate to say every test has the same reaction but more often than not you find in circumstancial scenarios women bend while men break. Now when we say women bend we are refering to their reaction to a negative scenario that can affect a relationship....the woman is clearly affected (hence the bending) but rather than show outright anger she conceals it and saves the issue for a rainy day. When it comes to the man on the other hand he has less tolerance and his reaction is instant and somewhat volatile (hence the breaking) towards the situation. If you pay your attention to the scenarios below......

Who is that?

You see your partner talking to someone of the opposite sex, and they are friendlier than usual

Woman Bends: She'll see her man talking to another girl and even though it upsets her, she wont react. Instead she'll collect her thoughts and save it for another day

Man Breaks: He sees her talking to a guy and it's an instant reaction, he's angry and lets her AND the guy she's talking to know it.

New Friends

Your partner has a new friend of the opposite sex that they speak to often

Woman Bends: She'll wait (and hope) for her man to tell her who the new friend is. If he doesnt say, she'll ask about her and ask to meet her

Man Breaks: He'll ask (complain) about her new friend and request less time be spent speaking to him. When meeting the friend he gives him the cold shoulder and the eyes to let him know. The new friend unsurprisingly rarely speaks to her ever again

Holiday in Napa?

Your partner's going on a party holiday....in Napa

Woman Bends: Has her suspicions but quietly trusts her partner wil behave himself (pssh..in Napa? haha)

Man Breaks: He knows she's likely to misbehave especially with some of the girls she's going with. He's not happy, he gets into an argument which either forces her to misbehave or forces HIM to join her in Napa

You aint getting any

Your partner aint in the mood for sex, simple

Woman Bends: She shows anger but doesnt complain for too long, she collects her thoughts

Man Breaks: Its the end of the world, he's fuming and doesnt know what to do with himself, he has no control

Miscellaneous Objects

You see something in the car that doesnt belong to you...and sure as hell dont belong to your partner....but whoever it belongs to is the same sex as you

Woman Bends: Save it for a Rainy Day

Man Breaks: Everyday is a rainy day

What time you call this?

Your partner comes home late....real late after a party. They look and smell different

Woman Bends: She doesnt say anything, she logs it into her memory

Man Breaks: If he hasnt called her already before she even hits the door, he'll turn into CSI Miami.com/ForensicDetectives and go mad!

The scenarios dont lie......the scenarios do not lie! So I guess after that the next thing is to look at the even wider perspective and disect why. Why do women bend and men break? The truth is I dunno, maybe it's control issues. Reading an essay once the writer interstingly suggested that there's sometimes a gap between a man's ability to reason and his ability to feel whereas women can connect reason with emotion whilst also knowing that reason can't solve all emotional issues.

We all like to be in control of our life...men more or less take pride in being in "control" of their relationship and when they sense that their "control" has been comprimised they react aggressively (masculinity revisited) because they aren't used to not being in "control", they havent gained the necessary knowledge of how to react. Women know that breaking hardly creates control so they wait, they bend...they are tactful...they wait til the man is at a vulnerable or weak position and then they unleash. Does that make women are stronger than men?....well thats another blog post in itself. What do you think?

"The weaker the argument, the stronger the words"

3 comments so far....:

Muffin said...

Great post! It's true women do tend to be more rational when it comes to those afore mentioned scenarios...this is because it would not be in our best interest to fly off the handle as we would be accused of moaning, nagging being too emotional...etc and the man could then turn around and say "this is why I need to talk to this new friend, at least she doesn't moan!" Men should appreciate our tactful nature and not take advantage because if a woman bends over too far she will eventually break and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned as they say

Mas said...

This is so true nad funny lol. But I think when girls get confortable they bend less.

Jon said...

Yeh.. how about, the highest value that I have as a man- is direct and articulate communication. Insdie that frame, this whole not saying it and collecting your thoughts stuff is just crap. It can create emotional blocks, and if left uncheck be very unhealthy. Breaking isn't so bad. It lends to new structures being built. More effective ones.

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