Monday, November 3, 2008

The Scriptwriter Chronicles: MEN ON THE ROAD (Part 3)

Scene 3 - Miscommunication

Jane drops the phone in shock. They stare at each other face to face, waiting for the other one to speak

JULIAN
I’m sorry did I scare you?


JANE
Listen Julian, Jane pauses wow you’re not even going to interrupt? Julian continues staring at her. Ok, before you go mad on me…


JULIAN
Hey! He taps his chest I’m alright. My wife just exposed my sexual ifficiency to the world


JANE
...…Its deficiency


JULIAN
Ok thank you Carol Vorderman. You know what Carol?


JANE
Jane


JULIAN
Whatever …I’ve outgrown my negative traits so I’m going to remain humble and let you come with an amazing excuse as for why I would be staring at you with nothing but venom in my eyes right now


JANE
I didn’t mean for this to… Julian interrupts


JULIAN
Question 1, since when was it ok to expose our business?


JANE
Yep I know but…Julian interrupts


JULIAN
Question 2, since when was it ok to expose our business to strangers? Jane sighs


JANE
What I’ve been trying to say is…Julian interrupts again


JULIAN
Question 3, since when was it ok to expose our business to strangers on the F%!?ing radio?


JANE
Do not swear when the kids are in the house!!


JULIAN
Question 4


JANE
Ok I get it! I’m trying to apologise …for who I said it to, but NOT for what I said. Lets be honest Julian, you and I both know certain things have happened for the worst and we try, or at least I try but it just never gets any better. Like I said before, things aren’t working right at the moment


JULIAN
That’s something for ME AND YOU to discuss, not you and flipping Ant and Dec


JANE
Mark and Tony


JULIAN
Are you trying to piss me off?


JANE
Yes! You’ve pissed me off over the past year!!


JULIAN
Then do something about it!!


JANE
Ok


Jane reaches behind the sofa and reveals a suitcase, Julian shakes his head. She looks at him as tears roll down her face; she rolls the suitcase over to Julian whose eyes widen. He pauses for a moment to gather his bearings.


JULIAN
I’ll go one better


Julian takes off his wedding ring and puts it down on the table directly in front of a family picture. He takes the suitcase and walks out the house; his two children watch from their bedroom window as their dad gets into his car and drives off



Stay tuned for PART 4…


3 comments so far....:

Mas said...

gripping

Anonymous said...

This gets better every week!!

Caribbeauty said...

this is too real

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