Sunday, December 28, 2008

Scriptwriter Chronicles: MEN ON THE ROAD (Part 11)

Part 11 - Power Shift

In the car park of the local shopping centre Julian sits in the driver's chair alone sipping on milkshake from McDonalds. He has a small amount of time to think to himself and decides to call Jane. After one ring the phone is forwarded to voicemail, his lips quiver and he puts the phone in his pocket. As he looks up he beeps his horn.


Julian

Get off my car you nonce


Gerald who’s sitting on the car bonnet looks back at Julian


Gerald

You What?


Julian

This car is 3 years young, I don’t need your lard ass causing damages Gerald gets of the bonnet and heads towards the passenger door The rules still apply no food in my car


Gerald

Julian lighten up, this weekend’s supposed to be your getaway. Just relax. I’ve finished anyway


Julian

No you’re not


Julian looks at Gerald’s drink


Gerald

Are you serious? What about you?


Julian

Uhm I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but…This is my car!


Gerald

I think I’m at that age now where I know how to keep a drink in my mouth Gerald steps into the car and takes a sip of his drink, he spits out his coke. She’s like a stalker, a really attractive stalker Gerald stares forward as the curvaceous woman from before walks. Her hips shaking side to side in slow motion. Ritchie comes from round the corner and stops in front of her. They begin to talk as Gerald continues staring. That little….he’s gonna get the number, no he’s not gonna get the number, Oh my god he’s got her number. Can you believe that Julian? Julian? Gerald turns towards Julian who is dripping in coke Oh, Oh Im so sorry, hey at least it never spilt on the car. There goes your vein again


Ritchie steps into the car and sits down with a bag full of sports clothes. His smile spreads wide as he looks towards Gerald and Julian


Ritchie

I think Im something special, every girl I touch just succumbs to my power. It’s actually quite scary. Julian you’ve got coke on your face


Meanwhile Kim and Sebastian are still in conversation..


Kim
What?


Sebastian
Huh? Oh nothing, I forgot something


Kim
I’m not stupid Sebastian

Sebastian
I should hope not

Kim
Where are the condoms?


Sebastian
I don’t know! They’re yours why you asking me!?


Kim
I was with you the last time I saw them, and now they’re missing. You put two and two together and…


Sebastian
You make 4? Silence Im sorry, but seriously I don’t have them. Have another look in your room…what the? Sebastian’s car suddenly stops, Sebastian tries to restart it but fails


Kim
I know where I put them! Someone’s taking them


Sebastian
Kim my car’s just stopped in the middle of the road. F%!? SAKE! Erm, laughs a little Im gonna need another favour


Back on the road, Julian sends a text to Sebastian as he’s driving. Ritchie and Gerald are in conversation about earlier. Gerald is holding a sheet of paper with the curvaceous girl’s contact details.


Gerald

Tequila?


Ritchie

Yeah funny, yet sexy. She just moved in the area, been watching me for a while apparently.


Gerald

And you're not in the least concerned about a girl named after alcohol? Ritchie shakes his head How old is she?


Ritchie

21, just finished a degree in Mechanics, nice


Gerald

An educated girl who can use her hands. Do I detect love at first sight Ritchie?


Ritchie

Ha! Maybe from her perspective, I’m a man of few words and many women. What type of idiot would I be if I fell in love? Gerald stares at him No offense


Gerald

How is it that the guy with commitment issues still gets so many girls?


Ritchie

I don’t have commitment issues. I have an issue with commitment


Julian

Same thing


Ritchie

No it’s not. I have a gift of picking up women so easily, why put it to waste? These clothes? Points to his bags Discount from the girl at the counter. This chain? Holds his chain Girl next door bought it for me, I’m a chick magnet I can’t stay committed


Julian

Oh please spare me the plaudits. Your chain has cereal box written all over it. You’re a grown ass man who’s scared of maturing so you sleep around to feed your self lies


Gerald

Yeah what he said. I wouldnt wanna be you right now, I have one special woman; you’ve gotta put up with all these numerous sexually active girls who’d do anything to get into your bed and….I’ve actually lost my point


Julian

You’re getting older Ritchie. I know you want kids and as mad I’m sounding right now, you need to let go of all these women and settle down


Ritchie

What and argue like you and Jane? I’m not quite ready for that, no way, babies crying, wife nagging, No freaking way, maybe in 5 more years when I get tired of shagging


Julian (laughing)

You make marriage sound so pathetic, but right now I don’t blame you


Ritchie

Don’t get me wrong mate, you and Jane have a special thing going on but I just don’t see that being my future, at least not for now


Julian

Special thing? I doubt that Julian hesitates This is our first rough patch and look how it’s ended up. We’ve got years of ammunition to unload on each other, scary times ahead


Gerald

The delusions of the paranormal that is women


Julian & Gerald

Yeah


Ritchie

Listen boys the key to sustaining a relationship is to know how to handle those dreaded 3 P’s when they eventually come?


Johnny

What’s the 3 P’s?


Outside Jane’s House…


Evelyn
He’s a player, he’s a prick, he’s a punk!


Boy
Erm...ok


Across the road a man steps out of his house in athletic gear and calls for the boy. He locks eyes with Evelyn and they both smile in admiration.


Evelyn
is that your dad?


Boy
Yeah

Evelyn bites her lip. The dad crosses the road and introduces himself


David
Hi I’m David


Evelyn
Evelyn…


PART 12 & 13 NEXT SUNDAY!!!

3 comments so far....:

$hort n' $weet said...

aww ur script writin is really gud, nice follow up;-)

Knowledge said...

Heavy!

Stephanie said...

Hurry up and drop 12 and 13!!

I'm feeling it and i wanna know who evelyn is ??

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