The Musings of Leon Mayne

Big shout out to my friend Ronke of Musings of Ondo Lady for featuring me in her weekly "My Space" blog. I'll be attending her London blogger's meet up with some of the Pbleepd team so I'll post a little something on it. In the meantime check out My Space - Leon Mayne (the name's been baited now)

Hip Hop? No R&B is Dead

Had to bring this 2008 article I wrote back because certain people are mistaking certain tracks for R&B, Enjoy the read...

For as long as I can remember, the pervasive influence of music has been sustained through it’s uncanny ability to relate to human emotion as well as diversify it’s sound to please the masses. One genre in particular that represented such claims was R’n’B which up until present has been able to re-invent itself time and time again providing music for the mind and soul.

From the late 80’s onwards R’n’B was established and divided into different forms of eclectic and soulful sounds including Soul, New Jack Swing and Neo-Soul. These sub genres were the basis of the urban scene and introduced an array of amazing solo, duo and group singers. Whereas a large majority enjoyed R’n’B, the minimum record sales from capable artists in the 90’s meant that recognition was minimal amongst and against the influx of Rock, Country and Pop album sales.

Corporate strategy was therefore introduced by music labels in which they would produce R’n’B superstars; controlling their image and distribution of a certain type of R’n’B I like to call Urban pop. This would allow music sales to rise and is now seen as the forefront of contemporary R’n’B. Although this fills the pockets of CEOs, executives and artists alike, the strategy has somewhat stifled the identity that was and should be R’n’B. We are now accustomed to hearing artists sing popular songs rather than the rhythmic sounds of true R’n’B.

What is R’n’B?

Rhythm and Blues is the definition and representation of this sound often blending funk, dance and/or soul. There is a certain “limited but just right” level of exuberance shown in R’n’B music which makes it enjoyable to listen to as a genre. The combination of Poetry, Feeling, Flow and soul of the artist (hence where the sub genre “soul” came from) enabled listeners to have an emotional attachment to the content and meaning of an R’n’B song. However it seems in this era that these components of R’n’B have disappeared and the overall essence of the genre has left. The content is still the same, with the words portraying soulful stories however the substance has gone….Blues with no Rhythm.

One of the major reasons for this decline is the lack of true Rhythm and Blues artists in both the UK and the US. The 90’s (and partly noughties) had an abundance of talent filling our Discmans and stereos with R’n’B music.


Do you remember…

UK: Lynden David Hall, Beverley Knight, Omar, Eternal, Floetry, Terri Walker
US: Blackstreet, Jodeci, H-Town, Shai, Boyz II Men, SWV, Keith Sweat, 702, TLC, Brownstone, Montell Jordan, Next, Monica, Tamia, Lauryn Hill (etc etc etc)

UK have tried to bring in R’n’B influenced artists but their time has been short lived leaving it an almost non-existent genre in the UK. This wont surprise many as there has never been a sole year where a flood of UK R’n’B artists are on the scene at once even though there have been a number of them spread over the years. What makes the US list interesting is the number of groups involved in the generation of soul and swing. Today’s industry shows a decrease in melodic groups representing the genre. The solo artists are scattered around in different sub genre’s however the so called forefront of R’n’B has artists involved in Urban Pop and judging by the success it may be this way forever.

Contemporary R’n’B is dominated by the likes of Chris Brown, Ne-Yo, Rihanna, T-Pain and Akon. All are talented, creative and entertaining artists, but they have been moulded by their labels into Urban Pop Figures. This wades well to the popularity of R’n’B but doesn’t truly represent the genre’s art form. Some may argue the case, as all of the named artists have produced songs that rival or emulate the sound of the 90’s; however the difference between the sound of today and the 90’s is that at least 90% of songs on an album in the soul/swing period had production representing R’n’B whereas today’s albums have at least 30-40% (often much more) urban pop tunes (club bangers). The search for sales rather than sound has reached even the legends in R’n’B with the King, Queen, Prince and Princess (R.Kelly, Mary J Blige, Usher and Beyonce) of the genre having to accommodate their styles and sounds to the up-tempo expectations of their labels and ultimately fans of popular music.

R’n’B artists such as Bobby Valentino are dropped by their labels due to record sales. This is no coincidence as Bobby V is known for producing tracks with more soul orientated content and flow. It seems as though the more records an R’n’B artist sells; the less soulful influence is involved.
LOWER RECORD SALES: NEO SOUL/SOUL - Musiq, India Arie, Dwele, Jill Scott, Anthony Hamilton, Erykah Badu
R&B - Trey Songz, Brian Mcknight, Donell Jones, Tank, Tyrese, Faith Evans

HIGHER RECORD SALES: URBAN POP - Chris Brown, Ne-Yo, Rihanna, Akon, T-Pain, Ciara

With the gap between Urban Pop and R’n’B record sales increasing it seems more and more likely that the genre as we know it will never be the same again. Could we be heading into a change of name for the genre? Is R’n’B dead? Well put it this way, if it isn’t dead it’s gone beyond a life support machine and is on its very last breath.

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OFFICIAL VIDEO: Maxwell - Bad Habits

Probably my favourite track off the Black Summers Night album. Enjoy!

Quote Of The Month

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good" - Ann Landers

Is A Title Needed?

It's been relatively long since I've been taken aback by someone's theory that wasn't on the same wavelength as mine. Lo and behold it wasn't a new found discovery or an epiphany, just an examination of current affairs. It started off with a question..

The Theorist: Do you see yourself getting married?
Broadband: Yeah
The Theorist: Hmmm
Broadband: Hmmm ok or Hmmm I dont believe you?
The Theorist: Just Hmmm
Broadband: Yeah good luck with that. How about you?
The Theorist: No!
Broadband: Why?

"Marriage is merely a glamorous ceremony followed by a generic contract, I dont need it to consumate or define the bond between me and my partner" - The Theorist

Followed by three abrupt and interchanging diagonal finger clicks she sat down proud of herself. I laughed for a few minutes but she made a valid point. Indeed it's the opinion of more than one of my friends that marriage is not an option; whereas some have yet to experience love and could possibly be deemed naive to pass judgement, there are those that have been there and made their reasons justifiable. Thirty minutes after The Theorist sprung her analogy it got me thinking.

Is Marriage a manufactured tradition made for social structure?

It's arguable yet intriguing that we are more or less geared and guided towards one direction in life. Although our journeys are different and some refuse to follow the concepts, it's still the majority that view this direction as the path of happiness and contentment. And that is:

Academia --> Job --> Relationship --> Marriage --> Family

The path is almost a birthright that most feel fine with but can appear like a forced structure built by societies' standards. There are no rules that say you have to follow this tradition and the rebels in alot of us dont but this seems like the general jist of life's journey and Marriage is fittingly the breaker of the middle ground between one side of contenment/happiness and the other.

Does love need a title via contract? Are relationships bound by wedlock? Or is The Theorist seeing past the initial or overall values of marriage and even religion?
If it is indeed part of the system then kudos to the inventor because this is one artificial battery thats gonna forever be caught up in the matrix.

What do you think?

"Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage"

WQST Radio Presents Melanie Fiona Meets The Illadeplphonics

Questlove & Melanie Fiona

What do you get when you mix one of the greatest drummers and musically educated minds with one of the best and sexiest modern voices of my time???....A mixtape. Im looking forward to hearing what these two have to offer on "The Bridge". I just downloaded it via Melanie Fiona's twitter. Im expecting good results after seeing this video. Click on the link below to download the mixtape.

DOWNLOAD HERE

"A painter paints a picture on a canvas but a musician paints their picture on silence"

"I Just Wanna Be, I Just Wanna Be Successful"

Thought I had an idea of what my house would look like until I saw this. Just when humility had taken over Im now back in the black hole of cliched ideologies. Success is a defying definition.

Ok let me paint the picture....

16,400 square feet, Eight bedrooms suites, Nine bathrooms, Six reception rooms, A cinema, Beauty salon. Gym with pool, Elevator service and underground parking.

... Cue this amazing London home designed by Anil and Marisa Varma.

I've seen a few mansions in London but nothing quite like this, give me a couple years.

"The home is the bottom line of life, the anvil upon which attitudes and convictions are hammered. It is the single most influential force in our earthly existence. No price tag can adequately reflect uts value. No gauge can measure its unltimate influence for good or ill. It is at home, among family members that we come to terms with circumstances. It is here life makes up its mind."

Quote Of The Month

"Don't bother to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself" - William Faulkner

Spreading The Love

I've got a lot of scriptwork to master today plus an impromptu birthday event to plan for tomorrow (Guess how old Im gonna be) so here's a few posts from some of my favourite blogs. .

Very Smart Brothers - I'm So Grown (Extended)

Christina Rants - I'm Back

Complex Simplicity - Friends 1: Etiquette & Friends 2: Rules of Engagement

It's Not The Way It Has To Go, Just What I Prefer - Girl I Don't Care About How Good You Look, Impress Me, Show Me A Pay Stub

"Blogs are whatever we make them, defining 'blog' is a fool's errand"

Hey!! Where did all the black sitcoms go?....Revisited

Last year at this exact same time I wrote an article about the decrease in black sitcoms (right here) and spoke about how they were hanging on to a thread with only The Game and Everybody Hates Chris as the portioned genre's sole representatives. A year on and as of today US & UK have NO black sitcoms left. Stateside, The CW Channel announced that The Game would not be renewed for a fourth season nor will Everybody Hates Chris for a fifth one leaving the country with only re-runs and the occasional reality shows. How did it get to this?



What happened to the plethora of writers/creators that made such great shows as Girlfriends, My Wife & Kids or One on One.....nothing. So why no shows? The networks will tell you lack of viewers which would be true in the result of any cancellation of any sitcom but it's a little bit deeper than that. I'm gonna try and steer clear from the racism route but you have to pay attention to how TV execs minds work when it comes to ethnic representation. In the US there are 5 networks that gather the most viewers of sitcoms...CBS, ABC, NBC, Fox and CW. The first four I would class as primary networks as people watch everything on those channels where as CW would be a secondary network. When shows such as the Fresh Prince were at their peak they were being shown in the primary networks, which solidified more viewers and a bigger fan base. Fast forward to now and all the "ethnic" related comedies are being put on secondary networks; CW is a great network but with it's programming only marketed towards a certain target group it will always fall short especially if airing sitcoms up against other sitcom competitors on other channels.


Hilarious sitcoms such as Two & a Half Men & Scrubs are given even more chances to flourish because they're on primary networks. Its time for TV execs to stop putting black sitcoms in a box and actually air them to a wide range of viewers. UK's situation is even worse with Trouble (the only channel that showed more than two black sitcoms, re-runs or not) being taken off Sky leaving us with ANTM all day. We haven't seen a UK sitcom in 6 years and that was The Crouches (nothing to be proud of). I cant help but think the failure of The Crouches has made TV networks in the UK cautious and unwilling to risk another one.

So is this the last we've seen of a black sitcom anywhere period?

Click on the seasons to see The Game - Season 2 | Season 3

"All television is educational television. The question is, what is it teaching?"

Gear Grinders (As Inspired By VSB & Greggie)

Since I didnt join the "25 things you dont know about me" hype I thought I'd follow in the footsteps of VSB and Greggie and might aswell let you know what pretty much annoys me or Grinds My Gears.


What Grinds My Gears, Part 1, Take 1, Marker....Action!

1. When people say "Life is short", come on now what exactly is longer? Life moves at a fast pace but it aint short. It aint short when you're waiting for your payslip and you're only in the first week of the month is it?..thats what I thought

2. Skinny Jeans on dudes...yeah that aint remotely cool, I dont wanna see the outline of a guy's crotch. I know that stuff must be cutting blood circulation everywhere below the waist

3. Bluetooth Headsets: I didnt know people still rocked these until last week when I saw a cool guy, doing a cool guy walk, in his cool guy clothes, wearing a cool guy hat and talking the cool guy talk. By cool I mean moron

4. Girls who dont eat, why? thats like part of the trinity of human lifestyle..you eat, you Number 2 and you sleep!

5. The Train person: There's always that one person on the train on your way to work who either smells, talks too loud, plays stupid ass music on their phone or coughs and sneezes outward...no mouth/tissue cover up or nothing....The Swine Flu extortionist

6. I cant stand girls who whore themselves in the entertainment circuit. We all want success but earn it respectfully and with hard work, if you havent got the talent go on Big Brother

7. When girls say they'll pay as a test!! Why do that? Get a guy all curious until he says "no Im paying" and she's like "good"......Say you'll pay for me again and see what happens; I'll have your wallet crying

8. People that talk the talk but neeeever walk the walk this ranges from those "2000 and mine" peeps to people like Arsene Wenger and Ricky Hatton

9. Over-Twitterers: This doesn't refer to people who put up alot of twitter updates, it refers to people who put up alot of twitter updates about random crap. "just woke up, morning twitterers" "just put butter on my bread because I like butter" "my bread tasted good, because of the butter I like" "Have you ever wondered why butter is yellow?".........KILL YOURSELF!

10. Summers coming so expect muscle bound dudes with really tight tops. Listen we all like to look big but for the love of eyes please recognise that size "small" is for small people

11. Middle-aged people in clubs is not working for me Im sorry. I understand that they like to feel young and enjoy the music but I dont think Im ready to share a floor with one of Jesus' classmates

12. I dont like people with bad breath and they dont know it. Im a really nice person and used to hint at whether someone wanted a chewing gum but sometimes you just gotta throw it in their mouth, works wonders

13. Polo shirts should never be worn with the collar up! I've noticed that it's a common style...it's also poorthetic.

14. The stanky leg, I do not endorse this dance move in any way. It is ridiculous, where do they get this stuff from seriously!?

15. Dry Music Video concepts are beginning to annoy me. Alot of work goes into making a video but you wouldnt guess from some of the stuff on TV. Directors need to be more creative or innovative. If not how about this for a crazy idea, follow the story the song depicts!

16. White cars: There's nothing wrong with these actually, my friend's gotta nice white car. But lets be honest if you're gonna be driving a white car on a regular basis it aint gonna stay crispy clean very long. Why buy it?

17. Follow Fashion is slyly annoying especially when it's pandemic fashion. Ed Hardy and Lyle & Scott must die

18. Im in a train station making my way home, I hear echoes of great music wave across the tiled walls, as I get to the escalator I see a man playing an instrument for money. I hold change in my hand look at him but carry on walking, why? because homeless people aren't meant to have such instruments and be well dressed and this dude is. Nonsense!

19. If I havent offered you my food, that means I dont want you to have ANY of my food. "Can I have some fo...NO!

20. UK Television. Has anyone in the history of life stared at a car for 5 seconds knowing it's going to knock them over even though they have time to move out the way? Yes...in Eastenders

"What annoyances are more painful than those of which we cannot complain?"

Mos Def - Casa Bey

Mr Def drops the first video from his anticpated Ecstatic album, I am definitely copping it. Are you?

Quote Of The Month

"Individual ideas, like breaths, are waiting to be drawn from unlimited supply"
Margaret Danner

Friday Means Throwback

Diverse artist, conscious & intelligent lyrics, love for the craft & master of the art. Mos Def is one of those Hip-Hop artists that will have longevity because of his dedication to Hip-Hop, his beefless career and because he's just that damn good. Today's Throwback is a personal favourite of mine; it's theraputic, inspiring, relaxing and nurturing. Despite Mos Def not rapping the track still reigns supreme due to it's poetic and tranquil substance. Word of advice, play this track as soon as you wake up, instant focus.

Mos Def - Umi Says

Make sure you pick up his album "Ecstatic" this year

"Life is a song of your choice"

Women Bend, Men Break

Well done Jamie Foxx for coming up with this phrase two weeks ago on his Foxxhole radio show (the same show that had the infamous Miley Cyrus diss). It is a complex analysis made simple by it's abiding definition -"Women bend, Men break". You see relationships as we know grow from strength to strength with the constant rotation of love, trust and commitment. A bond is created between a man and a woman based on these foundations and we often find a relationship blossoming. HOWEVER there comes a time...scratch that numerous times when this relationship is tested and 8 times out of 10 that so called strength portrayed becomes curiously fragile.

It wouldnt be accurate to say every test has the same reaction but more often than not you find in circumstancial scenarios women bend while men break. Now when we say women bend we are refering to their reaction to a negative scenario that can affect a relationship....the woman is clearly affected (hence the bending) but rather than show outright anger she conceals it and saves the issue for a rainy day. When it comes to the man on the other hand he has less tolerance and his reaction is instant and somewhat volatile (hence the breaking) towards the situation. If you pay your attention to the scenarios below......

Who is that?

You see your partner talking to someone of the opposite sex, and they are friendlier than usual

Woman Bends: She'll see her man talking to another girl and even though it upsets her, she wont react. Instead she'll collect her thoughts and save it for another day

Man Breaks: He sees her talking to a guy and it's an instant reaction, he's angry and lets her AND the guy she's talking to know it.

New Friends

Your partner has a new friend of the opposite sex that they speak to often

Woman Bends: She'll wait (and hope) for her man to tell her who the new friend is. If he doesnt say, she'll ask about her and ask to meet her

Man Breaks: He'll ask (complain) about her new friend and request less time be spent speaking to him. When meeting the friend he gives him the cold shoulder and the eyes to let him know. The new friend unsurprisingly rarely speaks to her ever again

Holiday in Napa?

Your partner's going on a party holiday....in Napa

Woman Bends: Has her suspicions but quietly trusts her partner wil behave himself (pssh..in Napa? haha)

Man Breaks: He knows she's likely to misbehave especially with some of the girls she's going with. He's not happy, he gets into an argument which either forces her to misbehave or forces HIM to join her in Napa

You aint getting any

Your partner aint in the mood for sex, simple

Woman Bends: She shows anger but doesnt complain for too long, she collects her thoughts

Man Breaks: Its the end of the world, he's fuming and doesnt know what to do with himself, he has no control

Miscellaneous Objects

You see something in the car that doesnt belong to you...and sure as hell dont belong to your partner....but whoever it belongs to is the same sex as you

Woman Bends: Save it for a Rainy Day

Man Breaks: Everyday is a rainy day

What time you call this?

Your partner comes home late....real late after a party. They look and smell different

Woman Bends: She doesnt say anything, she logs it into her memory

Man Breaks: If he hasnt called her already before she even hits the door, he'll turn into CSI Miami.com/ForensicDetectives and go mad!

The scenarios dont lie......the scenarios do not lie! So I guess after that the next thing is to look at the even wider perspective and disect why. Why do women bend and men break? The truth is I dunno, maybe it's control issues. Reading an essay once the writer interstingly suggested that there's sometimes a gap between a man's ability to reason and his ability to feel whereas women can connect reason with emotion whilst also knowing that reason can't solve all emotional issues.

We all like to be in control of our life...men more or less take pride in being in "control" of their relationship and when they sense that their "control" has been comprimised they react aggressively (masculinity revisited) because they aren't used to not being in "control", they havent gained the necessary knowledge of how to react. Women know that breaking hardly creates control so they wait, they bend...they are tactful...they wait til the man is at a vulnerable or weak position and then they unleash. Does that make women are stronger than men?....well thats another blog post in itself. What do you think?

"The weaker the argument, the stronger the words"

Friday Means Throwback

This has been a strange week. I swear I've seen more women over 6ft this week than in my entire lifetime. Speaking to a substantial amount of women looking up is an interesting experience. I've accepted the fact that at 6ft (and a half) and 22 years old Im not growing anymore but this female growth spurt has to stop!! Nah Im playing, tall women get the thumbs up..... but I aint ready for the photos with them. Enjoy the throwback!

Skeelo - I Wish I Was A Little Bit Taller

"If you aren't in over head you don't know how tall you are"

PREMIER VIDEO: The Foreign Exchange Feat Darien Brockington - Take Off The Blues

Not many know about the Foreign Exchange but they are one of the few musicians that are holding the flag for modern music. Made up of Nicolay and Phonte from rap group Little Brother, FE have a great blend of Neo-Soul, Jazz, Hip-Hop & Funk and you can hear a couple of their tracks off my playlist. Here's their new video with affiliate Darien Brockington; keep a look out for the second track at the end, should sound familiar.

The Foreign Exchange Myspace & Darien Brockington Myspace

"Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons. You will find it is to the soul what a water bath is to the body"

It's Who AND What You Know

Dont ever let anyone distill in your head that "It's Not What You Know, It's Who You Know" That's a whole bunch of crap. You really think someone you know will let you progress without some kinda knowledge? if the answer is yes then your progression in life will be somewhat stifled by your inability to learn and adapt it to experience.

Who and What you know combined is more powerful than one or the other. The more skills learnt the better and being able to combine your gift, talent, intelligence and creativity with communication and people skills will only provide a stronger foundation for future growth. If there's anything I learnt from my years at Uni it's that it was a platform for higher learning academically and socially, Network, Network, Network. The socio-technological era we live in only adds weight to this with modern technology geared towards communication and feedback from each other.

This being said however dont feel that if you dont know people that you're headed in the wrong direction. The truth is "who you know" is just an added bonus to "what you know" but dont let not knowing someone stop you from acheiving your dream...If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door. Acquire knowledge to solidify What You Know, and if you dont network just know that at the very least the one person who knows you (the man upstairs) will guide you through.

"Only the educated are free"

What's Next? (Thought Of The Day)

You ever reach a stage in your life and wonder if anything new's gonna happen? You "think" you've overturned obstacles and passed small milestones and stages and now you're waiting? It isn't exactly a crossroads because a crossroads still has options; but it isnt a dead end because you've still got something to look forward to (at least you think you should). Instead it's like reaching a traffic junction and there's no indication of whether you should turn left or right. What's Next?

What's Next is YOU. There's no major epiphany or stand out discovery, it's all about you. Good things comes to those who wait but better things comes to those who dont procrastinate. Everyone has a particular milestone they want to reach in life but have a different mindset as to how they are going to get there. Too often I've seen people around me give up too easily or take a less effective road making cliched mistakes in thinking the path to success, happiness and portioned contentment is a straight road with only minor bumps. The laziness sets in, they blend in with the rest and become a ground eagle.

In order to figure out what's next you have to master what's NOW? Whatever it is you want to achieve in life starts from YOU and the small steps you take towards that goal. Focus on your character, your weaknesses, your strengths and your potential in order to implement your actions, your talents and your skills. Tie up any loose ends you have now however small and possibly insignificant to give yourself a clean slate and no excuse to flourish in future. What's Next is you dealing with What's Now. What's Now is you planning for What's Next. Confused?

"The toughest part about getting to the top of the ladder is about getting through the crowd at the bottom"

Lil Wayne Feat Young Money - Every Girl

Been bumping this track for a while now, didnt think they would bring a video for it due to the language but they did. I will definitely be bumping this in the summer, old or not. Here's Lil Wayne bringing through his Young Money label including Dreezy, enjoy!

"Music is a performance and needs the audience"

Nice Guys Finish Second To Last

....well Im assuming nice guys come before Serial Killers, if not then I can only think the female demographic are simply put, mental!

I feel like asking the questions rather than answering them this week. The old cliche about nice guys finishing last will forever be a hackneyed phrase because 8 times out of 10 it's true. There's a future desire for the nice guy but a current need for the not so nice guy instilled in many the mind of a female. Some, not all claim the nice guy lacks the "X Factor"...what does the X stand for?

Who knows! but the not so great guys are definitely getting the long end of the stick. Im yet to know where this social "commandment" truly stems from seeing as the population of girls who choose the not so nice guys is vast let alone the female population full stop. So Ladies and Gents I ask you, do females prefer the Eric Benets, the Chris Browns or the Jeremy Kyle/Maury characters of this world or is there just a short supply of nice guys?

"It's nice to be important but more important to be nice"

Friday Means Throwback

You always get those unprompted moments which rarely get repeated ever again; earlier this week I was chilling with a group of friends and we were talking about how music developed then kinda declined in originality and pureness over the past few years. Then we found ourselves bubbling to old school motown classics, 80's/90's grooves and Hip-Hop. For once I actually stayed in the room to bare some of the tone deaf girls shriek the tunes of Cheryl Lynn, Anita Baker, Regina Belle etc and the guys rapping over each other in unison (its possible) to Nas, Big L, Pac and Biggie etc. We joked, sang and flowed all night and the setting/atmosphere reminded me of the track below. Mainstream R'n'B will never be the same...

Janet Jackson - That's The Way Love Goes

"Music is an artform that transcends language"

Quote Of The Month

Simply put....

"BE THE PERSON YOU WOULD MOST LIKE TO MEET"



That is all

Just A Friend

Guy Says: How long have we been talking now?
Girl Says: 6 hours
Guy Says: No...I mean wow... but I meant how long have we known each other?
Girl Says: a few months
Guy Says: feels like years
Girl Says: I know right? you're probably one of the few people let alone guys that I feel comfortable talking to
Guy Says: same Akward silence
Girl and Guy Says: So.....oh
Girl Says: You first
Guy Says: Ok, Lets say hypothetically speaking we were together and...
Girl Laughs
Guy Says: Why you laughing?
Girl Says: Haha I dunno, Me and you together just sounds weird, you're like a brother to me

Echoes ring through the guys head: "a brother to me"...."a brother to me"...."a brother to me"

I can think of only two more instances where a girl could tell a guy something that pretty much shatters his world. Its a hard pill to swallow and an even harder zone to get out of. The moment a girl brings the terminology "brother" or "friend" in a situation where a guy's trying to be with her, he has to concede defeat whether he wants to believe it or not.

Imagine an olympic stadium represents the girl's thoughts, the girl is a gold medal and the guy is a 400metre hurdler who has reached the final; he has "trained" all his life for this moment and now he's up for the prize against other worthy opponents (random dudes after her). The race begins and he's off, jumping hurdle after hurdle with consumate ease. He jumps over the nerves hurdle, jumps over the sense of humour hurdle, jumps over the ambition hurdle, then it gets a little tense and it hits between the 200 & 300metre mark. At this point it's his perserverance thats pushing him as he knows the last 100 metres beckons; he jumps over the likes and dislikes hurdles, jumps over the ex hurdles, clatters the "how many" hurdles but still manages to stay on his feet. He now reaches the final stretch, he's in the lead and is on the verge of claiming everything he's worked hard for. All of a sudden as he gets to the last few hurdles and there's a change in logistics, he's losing abit of breath, has he trained too hard? Now he's relying on just his adrenalin as his opponents are catching up. He's still in the lead and believes he can do it but the next hurdle has a different look to it, it seems jumpable from afar but as he gets closer there is something more solidified about this hurdle...ah yes, this is the friendship/brother hurdle. He skips across the track towards the hurdle and jumps but his front leg gets caught in the hurdle and he falls to the ground. Time moves in slow motion as he sees his opponents run and jump OVER the friendship/brother past him towards the finish line. He gets up but he knows it's too late, for as much as he is the crowd favourite he cannot claim the prize....pissed!

No guy I know likes when someone they're after hits them with the "like a friend/brother" tag. It's a mental and physical drain to a guy's system as he has spent quality time getting to know the girl and vice-versa; the mental gap has already been bridged and the physical was there from the get go so he's now feenin for her. What happens now?

As any guy would do they try to retrace their steps as to where it all went wrong. Was it when he told her his weaknesses? Did he play one too many of her favourite slow jams in the background? Was he procrastinating in asking her out? Did he play the good samaritan and spend maybe one minute/hour too long talking about her ex? Who knows!! What he does know is that he now has to sit there with the shattered memories of what could have been....for what awaits him could be more devastating than ever; her calling him to speak about OTHER guys and asking for advice. And like a good friend he is and has been to her he gives her the advice she needs to hear knowing fully well he should be that guy.

She thanks him and even coins the phrase I love you but he knows its a "friend" thing. All that's left to do now is cry like a little school girl.

There is no moral or solution to this story because frankly it can happen to the best of us but at least it answers the question on whether girls and guys can be friends....yes, yes they can, hahaha.

"Love is blind, friendship closes it's eyes"

Acquired Knowledge

Here's a couple of recent blog posts from a few blogs I follow that have been in an interesting read over the past week since I've been back online. Enjoy!

"When You Know Better, You Do Better"

5 Signs They Aren't Good Enough For You

The Wrong Time Seems Like The Right Time, Right Before The Wrong Time

Red Light

Christiana and Pac-Man Lessons

"There are more writers of blogs right now than there are readers, so that's clearly a vanity phenomenon" -Highlarious!

Are We Nosy?

So we've got social networking sites, reality TV shows, advanced google mapping and that girl who stares across the road when you're leaving your house making you that much more paranoid about what she's planning...no? maybe thats just me.

Either way the first three modes of "entertainment" have got me wondering whether there's a sudden burst of subtle voyeurism in the minds of it's users. You take Facebook for instance and disect what it's used for...the benefits are obvious, catching up with friends, networking, contacting people when you havent got minutes/credit (good times), sharing files etc but then what happens in between that? Fortunately for Mark Zuckerberg however and unfortunately for us Facebook can become addictive and you find yourself roaming for friends out of bordeom checking up on their photos, relationship statuses, eavesdropping on their conversations with a mutual friend or with a randomer, or your on the receiving end of an unwanted add/message from someone who's seen a photo of you in their school friend's twice removed cousin's facebook rave...you know the one where you're in a photo with your three friends holding a champagne glass in those new sharp megapixel cameras.... or maybe you're that person who adds them lol.

Social networks have kinda taken two directions. The first direction is the original purpose and the second is straight voyeurism/nosiness/"inner" behaviour. Its not our faults I guess, these mediums are just designed to make us be the receiver or the trigger of such behaviour. Take Twitter for another example, it is again great for networking, communication and promotion but from another perspective it's just an ever updating list of statuses about what everybody's up to...nosy!! I have fallen for the trap a couple of times since being on twitter but it's hard not to since thats all it is, you have to "follow" each other to make sense of it all so essentially it's a networking stalker starter kit. It's the closest you'll get to speaking to certain celebs/superstars so I guess thats ok....yep nothing more fun than making friends with famous people who dont talk back.

Then there's the reality TV shows which are beginning to wipe out original programming (still kinda pissed about Trouble TV getting locked off, re-runs or not). I used to wonder why there wasn't any innovative programmes on TV til I realised that viewers just dont watch it. No ad revenue for TV networks means bankruptcy and so they venture into the world of "reality" and make shows where viewers can participate. The public love eavesdropping, its what the word "public" is based on, trust me. As for the google map innovation, well it doesnt take a genius to know what that may lead to. All in all I cant help but think media mediums have helped illustrate a fact that we all have known at the back of our minds, we are nosy!!!

"The things most people want to know about are usually none of their business. It's a 50/50 on whether they can make it their business with positive outcome"

Mish-Mash #5

So for the first time in a while I get to chill on a sunday with no commitments whatsoever. I got my food set on continuous, my laptop for my notes and my sky remote firmly in my hand as I chill watching TV. I flick to Trouble and catch up with some sitcom re-runs only to hear the channel announce that on April 1st there'll be no more Trouble TV. What!?! Where am I gonna go to when Im bored? The one channel that allowed decent sitcom imports some airtime is getting replaced by more Living TV...booo! One on One Gone, Martin Gone, Girlfriends Gone, All Of Us Gone, Fresh Prince Gone, How I Met Your Mother Gone, My Wife & Kids Gone. Now I gotta watch size zeros screaming at my screen; I just wanna throw a cheeseburger at them.

If you havent seen ""Diary of A Tired Black Man" yet watch it, not for the acting but for the comments in between scenes. Hilarious. I finally got to watch it last night on DVD and it was interesting. quite thought provoking too, definitely an argument starter. I'll be raising a question from it as part of my debate week on my blog this week. Check the original youtube clip that got the director a movie deal by clicking here. Might watch the movie below too..

You wanna release an album with no hype then do it like Mos Def. Rather than get involved in some kinda beef track or try something innovative Def kept it simple and let his "words" do the talking. He joins an elite group of artists whose albums Im looking forward to this year including Eminem, Lupe Fiasco, Kanye West, Ginuwine, Chipmunk, Rick Ross, Busta Rhymes, Teedra Moses even. Anyway check a preview for his album The Ecstatic This Spring

May 30th will be the first part to my new script for the blog. This one is likely to be done in advance so there's more chance of it actually being on time (maybe). So gear up, 8 weeks to go! Gonna start a whole new blog also with a couple friends soon called "Real Talk" so stay tuned for that one, controversial yet conditioned for the average reader..you'll see.

New Ginuwine Single Featuring Number 10 in my Top 10 Lisa Raye & my supposed look-a-like Tyrese (I still to this day dont see the resemblance)

Broadband's Music Rotation

Young Jeezy - Don't Do It
Drake - Say What's Real
Nas Feat Marsha Ambrosius - If I Ruled The World (2009)
Eric Benet - Chocolate Legs
Rick Ross - Cigar Music
The Dream - Sweat It Out
Lil Wayne - Been A Week
Lethal Bizzle Feat Donaeo - Go Hard
Consequence & Kid Cudi - Buggin' Out '09
Nelly Furtado - I Gotta Know
Jennifer Hudson Feat Ludacris - Pocketbook

Aight that's it, Im off to catch up with three weeks worth of radio via The Foxxhole and Speedy's Comedy Corner. Keep checking up on this blog and the Pbleepd Blog. The website is coming back I assure you and stay tuned for Debate week starting tomorrow right here.

Be Easy!

Broadband

Swagger (Thought Of The Day)

Swagger: "A dashing or confident air or way of doing something"

Gonna keep this one relatively short since it's a topic that has been questioned, elaborated and overall done to death. I've seen a few blogs (Necole Bitchie, Butterz, etc) on how swagger is the most annoying term and topic in the world today and I find it hard to disagree. However in an industry where violence and hate is often the number 1 antidote for a hit tune or record I somewhat don't have a huge problem with swagger being introduced to an artist's forte. Warranted the tediousness derived from it's repetitive use in EVERY track is a common cause of frustration but you do have some sense of positivity in thinking "wow maybe they can diversify their content". Only problem is that the diversification just stops there and as lovers of music the public are now hung on the word too.

I see so many people obsessed with the word that it's created it's own culture but as much they may like the word it doesnt actually mean they have swagger. The definition in the dictionary is just the basics so dont think because you say you have swagger "confidently" that you can go around tarnishing it's name. Stay true to yourself and stop following fashion because swagger is somewhat a follow fashion phenomenon that has reversed the positive notion of standing out to now just fitting in. Swagger is like Sugar in a sense that too much of it is too bad for you. Where swagger was entertaining before it has unfortunately resurfaced as a virus spreading across the world and it wont stop until everyone is colour co-ordinating their eye colour with their belts. Like my swaggajacking friend (lol) Eileen said, the new "swagger" is just being yourself...being normal. and I'm as normal as they get haha *brushes shoulders off.

"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away"

Friday Means Throwback!

Right now if someone was gonna ask me who have been the top female solo voices of R'n'B in my era the list in no order would include Faith Evans, Mary J. Blige, Jill Scott, Toni Braxton & Lauryn Hill, Brandy, Aaliyah, India Arie, Erykah Badu, Mariah Carey & Ledisi. (Yes there's no Beyonce, shock horror). I couldnt say who's the best because I'd be twiddling my thumbs for hours, days, weeks but what I will say is that out of all the above Mary J Blige has probably had in my opinion the most amount of stand out classic tracks (sorry Jill). She envokes alot of passion into her songs and you can feel it every time she performs, hear it in every album and see it in every video. I dunno what it is but "There's something about Mary".

Mary J. Blige - Seven Days

Eric Benet - Chocolate Legs

Despite his mental illness (you gotta be crazy to cheat on Halle Berry) you cant deny he knows how to make good music. I will definitely be picking up his new album, the tune below is big.

Gone For A Minute Now Im Back Again

"It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you". Let me just quickly shake off this blog rust.........aight Lets Go!! Now technically this break in blogs and internet use was not my decision since my router decided to heat up and just reject my attempts at logging on but it's opened my eyes to how pervasive the net is; and it's kinda scary. I realised how much it is incorporated in our everyday routine; the average person I know will use the net 60 hours a week which I guess isnt too bad when you consider the 168 hours in a week. HOWEVER, ask yourselves how many of those hours are spent doing something productive?

I imagine it's the same..ish scenario for you....You switch on your PC or Laptop, get frustrated for a moment having to wait for all your programs and downloads to load up, your screen is filled with so many folders and software that you can barely see your background image, you click on Mozilla Firefox or Internet Explorer or Safari and your on. You get the tabs ready for multiple windows and your life begins..or ends. First it's the Email (hotmail, yahoo, gmail etc) then the social networking sites (facebook, twitter, myspace) maybe a couple of blogs (Perez Hilton, YBF, Bossip......Pbleepd Blog, The Wider Perspective..ahem) and then your preferences (Sky Sports, Asos, The Times etc). Or with alot of people these days it's straight to facebook..Haha You know Im right! It's a continuous cycle and under my frustrations of not being able to come online I was quietly happy to be away at the same time.

When one technological habit fails (the internet) another one begins (TV) and so I spent a week in front of my Sky Box watching sitcoms, dramas, sports, documentaries and the news. Random questions: Why have Channel U changed their name to Channel AKA? Where's Trouble + 1? Why do BET have no UK programmes? Who the hell are all these new people on Eastenders? (I havent seen it since Grant left again) Why does everyone love Hollyoaks? it has the worse acting ever. Why does Paris Hilton UK TV deals before me? Why are Fox News allowed to broadcast politics when they are clearly against Obama?......

Under those TV frustrations I found pleasure in watching some random programmes. I remember Ondo Lady blogging a while back about some show called Stylista; and while Im not into fashion/modelling reality shows it's actually a decent show (I can watch it and still retain my masculinity right?) Soccer AM is still the best morning show created (pssh Live and Kicking). 24 destroys anything else on TV and Top Gear is the shining light in the darkness that is Emmerdale. But above all of this I was glad to see Angie Le Mar's "The Brothers" stage show on MTV Base last night; warranted the change from Richard Blackwood to Harvey was weird but its good to see something creative and different on TV as well as a modern show with a predominantly black cast. The acting was abit "meh" in parts but the plot seems good enough. Lets hope it opens doors to more possibilities because there is a big hole in the TV World that needs to be filled.

Anyway briefly back to the initial topic, put down the mouse or take your fingers off the touchpad and pick up another habit. Take some time off the net and do something else....anything, you'll be surprised to find how much we're consumed by it.

Be Easy

Broadband

"The time to relax is when you dont have time for it"

V.I.P MJ Tickets

Michael Jackson tickets were sold out quickly!! but if anyone's willing to buy a V.I.P ticket for any of the tour dates this summer at the O2 Arena which includes a backstage pass, food and what not than I have a link to one available. It costs £1,000 (whoa!! yes I no) Im not saying the price is pretty but I know people who are selling theirs for as silly as £15,000 on ebay so this is a bargain. Anyone want this ticket or of if you know someone who does then let me know. Email: preacher2@hotmail.com

Be Easy

Broadband

Its Hard To Get Why We Still Play Hard To Get

"Life is a game, I just play it to play it" - Jay-Z

Contradictory behaviour never ceases to amaze me when it comes to us and our behaviours. In the very same aspects of life where games are considered negative (love, relationship) we continue to play those very same games in an attempt to get or get the better of one another....fuuny. Im gonna try very briefly to understand the "hard to get" theory via the female contingent. The 21st century has unleashed the most docile yet independent species on the planet...women! Women generally know what and who they want and can usually have which they want sometimes when they want; but the concern turns to "How" they want it.

This post far from refers to all women, generalising would be boring...and untrue of course, but a substantial amount of women are flip-siding the definition of dolicty which in result causes them to "play" hard to get. But why? Well the initial why is easy. Some women dont want to come across easy, they dont want the man to lose interest after he gets them, they want to know how interested the guy is and whether he is willing to work hard for her. I get that part and they're all good reasons but isnt using the "hard to get" method to acquire such knowledge playing games? and we know how women "hate" games.

I was under the impression that games and love dont mix, and while that stage of the relationship isnt love it is initially a platform for love which is supposed to be a no game zone. Some men love the chase no question (I do on occasion) but some of us dont (I dont on many the occasion) and when games are introduced a women has turned (effectively on purpose) a yes or no situation into a variety of thoughts from the male perspective. He is now wondering not only whether he should continue or not but whether the woman is gonna leave him chopped and skrewed, whether the she is worthy of a relationship or a Hit & Run, etc etc. While women see this is as a test to seperate the men from the boys they are failing to recognise that after a man has proclaimed his interest in a woman and laid the cards on the table he has delivered an ultimatum, games should rarely be played at this point. Playing games can easily result in the Boomerang theory (watch the movie).

Hard to get should be at most a natural trait and not a tested theory. Say What's Real: If you aren't sure whether you wanna give a guy your number because of previous troubles or you aint feeling him, just say it! dont encourage hope. Dont cancel dates just to see if he'll crack, tell him you need to trust him first. It aint that hard is it? That being said "hard to get" does create a fun challenge when both are aware and willing to partake in such activity. But when they aint, its time consuming and only begs the question whether relationships are founded on trust, love and GAMES!

"Never pretend to a love or like which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command"

"Face"book Drama

"Mehhh I hate the new home page?" "Waaah what happened to my old facebook?" "Argh! why do they keep changing it?" I've been hearing these statements all day in a failed attempt by friends to cheer me up through conversation (ARGH MAN UTD!!). Seems as though everyone hates the new face of facebook and it's kinda funny because no matter how much y'all complain about it you will STILL go on it everyday and it will NEVER change. Just embrace the annoyance yet benefit that is facebook and expect the unexpected because unfortunately for multi-million to billion dollar businesses they mistake growth for change and dont understand the term "if it aint broke dont fix it". Im 4 months into my facebook hiatus but have decided to make a comeback in the near future when business is running...maybe. I say maybe because it's such a potent and popular site but man it's annoying as Julian Smith has pointed out below.