Monday, March 16, 2009

Its Hard To Get Why We Still Play Hard To Get

"Life is a game, I just play it to play it" - Jay-Z

Contradictory behaviour never ceases to amaze me when it comes to us and our behaviours. In the very same aspects of life where games are considered negative (love, relationship) we continue to play those very same games in an attempt to get or get the better of one another....fuuny. Im gonna try very briefly to understand the "hard to get" theory via the female contingent. The 21st century has unleashed the most docile yet independent species on the planet...women! Women generally know what and who they want and can usually have which they want sometimes when they want; but the concern turns to "How" they want it.

This post far from refers to all women, generalising would be boring...and untrue of course, but a substantial amount of women are flip-siding the definition of dolicty which in result causes them to "play" hard to get. But why? Well the initial why is easy. Some women dont want to come across easy, they dont want the man to lose interest after he gets them, they want to know how interested the guy is and whether he is willing to work hard for her. I get that part and they're all good reasons but isnt using the "hard to get" method to acquire such knowledge playing games? and we know how women "hate" games.

I was under the impression that games and love dont mix, and while that stage of the relationship isnt love it is initially a platform for love which is supposed to be a no game zone. Some men love the chase no question (I do on occasion) but some of us dont (I dont on many the occasion) and when games are introduced a women has turned (effectively on purpose) a yes or no situation into a variety of thoughts from the male perspective. He is now wondering not only whether he should continue or not but whether the woman is gonna leave him chopped and skrewed, whether the she is worthy of a relationship or a Hit & Run, etc etc. While women see this is as a test to seperate the men from the boys they are failing to recognise that after a man has proclaimed his interest in a woman and laid the cards on the table he has delivered an ultimatum, games should rarely be played at this point. Playing games can easily result in the Boomerang theory (watch the movie).

Hard to get should be at most a natural trait and not a tested theory. Say What's Real: If you aren't sure whether you wanna give a guy your number because of previous troubles or you aint feeling him, just say it! dont encourage hope. Dont cancel dates just to see if he'll crack, tell him you need to trust him first. It aint that hard is it? That being said "hard to get" does create a fun challenge when both are aware and willing to partake in such activity. But when they aint, its time consuming and only begs the question whether relationships are founded on trust, love and GAMES!

"Never pretend to a love or like which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command"

3 comments so far....:

$hort 'n' $weet said...

oh wow, i was thinking to write a blog about playing hard to get coz i was thinking about that yesterday- i don't see the point of it but at the same time i get why people do it. No one likes to come across as 'easy', and people like a challenge to receive that feeling of achievement when they finally get what they wanted.

Overall, i think playing games is long...well, with one exception!

Becks:) said...

Interesting viewpoint Lee. Its a barrier created by women so they can pick the right partner, dont see it as games its more like a rapport builder.

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