Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Broadband's Raving Tips Revisited

I've been promising myself that I will try and blog everyday but I've been real busy working on a project so I'm gonna quickly give you guys a throwback post I did on the pbleepd blog on the dos and donts of raving/partying. My friend failed to follow these rules this past weekend and he ended up having a bad night. Next time L****** you should LISTEN! to what I say instead of hearing it. I promise to be back on the blog trail tomorrow so keep visiting. Anyway without further a do.....

Broadband's Raving Tips

  • Do get there early!! - That doesn't mean you have to be the first ones there because we all know the party doesn't really pop off 'til a couple hours after opening time. However be there relatively early to avoid long lines (unless you're V.I.P of course), the worse feeling is standing outside in the cold and it starts raining on your suede shoes or your unprecedented weaves. It's an even worser feeling when the doors shut before you get to the front leaving you fighting a losing battle with the bouncers or having an early night with BBC News 24 or CNN.
  • Do drink, dance & bubble - Why else are you at a rave for? Now I know we aint all dancers and some of us who think we are dancers are extremely mistaken (dancing to the words rather than the beat) but if you're at a party at least enjoy yourself by bubbling and having a drink or two. Who goes to a rave just to stand there? Nonsense!...And you paid too? Absolute Nonsense!
  • Do things politely - Now yes ladies I know alot of you go to raves just to enjoy yourselves and aren't looking for a man but it's inevitable that a guy will try and move to you; it's in their genes, what do you expect if you're looking that good? If you aren't feeling his advances, let him down gently, he'll respect you for it and only cry on the inside. As for the guys, approach girls politely, you may even have a better chance with a reasonable approach and again the girl will respect you for it
  • Do tip Uncle Justice - Gentleman when you go to the restroom you're more than likely to be confronted by a gentleman with a smile...the restroom attendant. He'll be hospitable and deliver one-liners like "If you dont rinse, you cant be a prince" or "wash your hands or it will squash your plans...with the ladies". Be nice and tip him because although we are all on a credit crunch, to be a restroom attendant you must have credit munch! A nice gesture goes a long way.
  • Do look and smell good - This should go without saying however my previous observations at raves beg to differ. Gentleman by the lord's grace would you please cream your hands? It's not about ashy knuckles and crust in between your fingers. You dont want women to think you've been hi-fiving chalk and flour. And to both sexes please make sure deodorant is potent. If you are unfortunate to have deodorant but still perspire quite easily then resort your movements to just a 2-step on the dancefloor. Ok I will allow you 10 seconds of the harlem shake but that's it!

  • Don't wear stunners - They are no longer cool (not that they ever were). It is not sunny by any stretch of the imagination so there isn't any need for them. You look like a superhero with no powers whatsoever, dont do it!
  • Don't sport a screwface - Unless you're angry at the DJ for playing a whack song or you're tired of the credit crunch dont put so much effort in screwing people. You've come to a party to drink and enjoy yourself so spreading negative vibes is not needed. Some people just can't help it but come on...
  • Don't Fight - Unless provoked...scratch that even if you're provoked, leave it, it's unnecessary. You wanna waste money you spent on a bottle by hitting someone with it? You wanna ruin clothes for the sake of fighting? You wanna end a party early and get kicked out? It's long!! Even at the grand old age of 22-23 (ahem) there's still likely to be fights over mediocre situations.....sad, sad, sad.
  • Don't leave home without gum/mint - Ah Ah! This "dont" right here....vital! Have you ever smelt alcohol mixed with bad breath? My god! smells like death. Tic Tacs are cheap, chewing gum is cheap, there's no excuses. Either that or brush your teeth before you leave because smell is a strong sense and our noses are veeeery sensitive.
  • Don't forget your I.D - So many times over the years I've been out with a group of friends and one of us somehow forgets to bring their I.D. That is the most jarring situation because that one person has spoilt it for everyone! I mean I still go inside regardless, but the next morning when I wake up I'm like "grrrr!"....don't forget your I.D!

"Live For Today, Plan For Tomorrow.....Party Tonight!!!"

1 comments so far....:

Caribbeauty said...

lolololololol- u'll give them 10 seconds to do the harlem shake hahahahahaha

how about no!! some pl stink so it's best they DO stay at home!!


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