Friday, January 30, 2009

Friends & Associates (Thought of the Day)

Had a brief but detailed conversation with another friend (ironically) about the dilemmas of having a friend and an associate. The term "friend" is arguably and subjectively thrown around easily without really thinking about the defintion or the context of it. I myself (like most of you Im sure) use the term friend for everybody but are we using the terminology correctly?

Life's lessons suggest that we dont have too many friends as most people would class a friend as someone who'd have their back whenever, wherever, whatever...even go as far as taking a bullet for them (Yep that would then wipe out 98% of your so called "friends") But could we be comfortable in calling the non 50-centers an associate? I know I couldnt. However it could be said that we'd be lying to them because social rules tell us to, but I say f*** that. Even the hollowest of thinkers would relate to one of the definitons of friends which states....

Friend - "Used as a polite form of address"

My personal opinion is that the term associate is too negative to use and that as long as I acknowledge AND respect you and we have a levelly understanding of one another through a substantial amount of meaningful dialogue then you can be classed as a friend.

Friend - "A person with whom one enjoys mutual affection or regard"

Of course there's levels of friendships. Im not stupid now. I have friends and then I have friends. Friends and close friends if you will. I just cant use the term "associate" for people who I dont speak to as much as a close friend, its disrespectful. An associate is a quiet workmate, that dude who always serves you double sausage and egg mcmuffins at mcdonalds, a useless father, someone you dont like but have to speak to, your dissertation tutor or that person you stepover to get to the top (kiddin..kinda). That's an associate!

"The only way to have a friend is to be one"

2 comments so far....:

Amber-Alert said...

hmmmmm...i would call those people u listed some random ass motherfuckers not associates lol...guess im like most people but i think an associate is someone that u associate with in any way, shape, or form on a regular basis but yall never disclose any personal information with each other...thats what makes a person a FRIEND (but i agree that there are varying levels of friendship)

Muffin said...

I agree that people use the term quite loosely but it's true I would feel deep calling certain people associates even though I know they aren't my 'close' friends because it's just so clinical. I tend to call everyone I like & speak to a friend, however 'friend' is just a label I give them to answer the question "whose that?" but when I think deeply about what a friend is most of them aren't really friends! As long as you know who your real friends are I don't suppose it really matters, it's just a label after all... what's important is how you feel about the people you know not what you call them :)

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